Australians do not read books. This is not the Thatcher “I do not read books” of yesteryear wherein she didn’t read fiction books in particular, but rather a profound refusal to engage in fiction that is fiction and non-fiction that is fact. Gone are the story books with death, culture and other points of view. Gone are the history books. Gone are the accounts of truth in the news media.

If you do not read books then you never need think about anything. You are free from the oppression of others’ views. Free from the past, the present, the future. You can cheat death and taxes. You can transcend mathematical law and science. Space time is nothing to someone who does not read books. Truth is malleable; it is formed from the aborted products of malformed conception. Whoever charms or shouts or buys their way through society is automatically right.

And so a comfortable lie is created. A happy 50s where God was good and girls were girls and boys were boys. Where the right people did the right thing at the right time and the wrong people were in their place. Where we were deprived of mobile phones cars Internet books social mobility social media socialisation telephones television news reporting other cultures and books books books. The sun shined in the sky over the sun burnt country and we tanned in the good air and good sunlight knowing we were doing righteous good by existing. We did took all what God had given us in the marvellous uninhabited farming country we well deserved. Grew mandarines in orchards before the wog’s done good and as youse know any old person’ll tell you life was better then and modern life is aggravating.

We were deprived of knowledge and communication and people outside the village AND WE LOVED IT.

What’s the point of books then? What’s the point of high school or a fancy degree? Everyone knows you can make more money without it. Just look at Bill Gates and Kanye West and plumbers and tradesmen. They’ve got it made in their MacMansions on the beach and 4 wheel drives and Jimmy Choo shoes. Why would you read a book or a proper newspaper when you have “Neighbours“, “Gossip Girl“, AFL, Channel 10 news, Foxtel, “Twilight”, the Herald Scum and the mX and The Australian which as you know has excellent writing. Certainly there’s no point in poor people reading books or getting degrees because they are perfectly happy the way they are breeding away and leaving school and bludging on the dole although really why can’t they be productive members of society and get a job?

Everyone knows Australia is paradise. Things are like that everywhere and if they’re not, they should be.

Ignorance is bliss.