There is a group of people who kind of give me the creeps. I can’t really explain why. They’re this sort of affluent white upper middle class phenomenon. The mum is in her late 20s or early 30s and thinks of herself as a “yummy mummy”. She’s lost all the pregnancy fat and has a supple fashionable look, with her baby carrier that looks like a backwards backpack. She talks loudly and somewhat sarcastically to answer the 3-year old’s questions, to the delight of fat rich 40 something business dad in expensive polo shirt and shorts who guffaws magnanimously. Har har har, you’re a gem. They have affected semi-English but mostly Neighbours-Australian accents. They like to have a wine with dinner every night, dinner either on the barbie or cooked with a delicious range of fresh produce from the deli. They bring their similarly minded friends around on Saturday, leaving the kids at home, so they can all have a laff. Har de har har. None of them crinkle their eyes when they smile; instead they look around at each other clinically to measure the effect of their latest joke. The conversation never has any real content but god damn it is loud and uproarious. Har har de har har har look at what a great time we’re having in Europe we just had high tea in London and shopped at Tiffany’s when we went to New York and har har look at what a mess Labor is in, Julia Gillard is atrocious, Tony’s got my vote, did you see that new Australian show featuring Australian celebrities written by that “Secret life of Us” guy? “What’s the Labor party mummy”, “that, darling, is called the evil affecting the country!” ha HA ha HA ha HAR DE HAR.

Fuckers.

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