It’s a shame. There’s someone I know, a formerly close friend who suddenly decided that she wasn’t friends with me 8 years ago and, with another friend, decided that I just wasn’t cool enough to be friends with anymore (so ejected me from their “group” along with another couple of people they decided they didn’t like). I’m still close friends with her boyfriend and quite a few of the other people in that group of friends. Sometimes we end up at the same party. Needless to say, I’m civil but I don’t go out of my way to interact with her.

It’s interesting finding out that almost a decade after our “falling out” (for reasons I’m still at a loss about), she rolls her eyes, makes faces and a rude comment whenever my friends mention me in passing.

We’re all in our late 20s and she thinks it’s appropriate to make everyone uncomfortable over an 8 year old grudge that she never had the guts to address in real life? Are you kidding me? And by acting like a primary school child? I’m not sure who she’s trying to convince, but she certainly isn’t acting like a credible source.

My list of possible reasons she doesn’t like me:

  • I got depression at university after a friend self-harmed to get at me, my family were having problems with domestic violence, I got punched in the face by another very controlling friend and was having issues with being mostly gay. I really didn’t cope with it well and I talked about it a lot.
  • I got very very drunk 3 times in 3 years at college parties and she helped me get home and apparently it sucked. Oh, and one other time she purposely left me and dragged our other friends away so as I didn’t get any help from them on purpose.
  • I get passionate and pissed off when there are horrible injustices and shitty behaviour in the world or when people are horrible to me.
  • She is (I’ve heard from mutual friends) apparently very insecure about her relationship which is something that I find bizarre considering that she has been with her (attractive, intelligent, funny and VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER) boyfriend for 10 years.
  • She went from being a very much alternative fringe weirdo geek like myself at high school to being someone who was very very ambitious, successful at university and kind of popular. These days it sounds like she likes to make her circle of friends “exclusive” and “always have to do everything together”.

The other friend she colluded with to expel me from their “super cool” group of coupley couples, interestingly, dumped her boyfriend just after he moved for work (but was commuting back 8 hours every fortnight to see her) for the reason “I never liked you in that way anyway and only thought of you as a friend.”

With friends like this, who needs enemies?